spellbound86
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Member Since: 7/29/2005

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Thursday, June 21, 2007

Well It has been a while since I last signed in.  Since our last talk my life , like always, has been twisting round and round. I was dating this guy. Lasted a week. I started working at this small company SignTec the first of July last year. Just my boss and I. It was nice at first but now my boss makes way to many mistakes and I end up losing hours because we have to reorder materials. Besides the failed relationship and the shitty job 2007 seems to be my year. somewhat.


Wednesday, June 21, 2006

i quit my job and i have no life!!! i get to stay home and serf the net on my laptop!!!


Tuesday, April 18, 2006

NEW HOME

Hello. I have moved my columns to a new home. If you would like to keep on reading them you can at : http://paperbackwriter86.tripod.com/

On my new site there are photos, a contact list, and soon to be newsletter. So come and join me on my trip to finding true love.

Hope to hear from you soon!

-Caleb


Thursday, April 13, 2006

Childhood Games

            Growing up we all had games we played. Twister, Connect Four, House. But when do the games every really stop? We grow up hit the double digit and the dating game begins. Does he like me? Do I like him? Circle YES or NO. Calling him up at two in the morning and hanging up laughing when he answers. These are all games we play in a conscience state of mind. But when do the games go from conscience to unconscious? Do they just follow us out whole life just advancing levels with age and if so when do we move to the next level?

            The other day my boss Matt, Tammy a cashier and I were discussing games we played as children. What we got away with and what would be recalled today. As children we had toys like the lawn dart and park swings without bars to keep then from getting flipped and tangled. Do we as adults put up psychological bars to keep from being tossed and tangled in life and do these bars deaden out senses to the games we play?

            A few days after my unfortunate test message from Jacob. I went and gave Kevin my phone number he wanted so badly. Not wanting to hook back up with him. I was hoping we could just be friends and talk. I figured I would give it a shot. The next few days he called. The first time I missed the call. The second, third and forth I ignored them. Was I playing a game of unconscious cat and mouse with him? After his last call I sent him a text saying I had been busy and couldn’t find then time to call. The truth was I was afraid of in love with him again. Plus I had met this guy Marcus online.

            We had met online through Hot or Not. We had both hot listed each other. It started off with an email here and an email there. Each followed with a gap of silence between them. The other day while checking my mail. I saw that Marcus had sent me a letter. " Sorry. I have been on the run a lot lately. Things are crazy. I’m on the run now. Hope to hear from you soon." A thought crossed my mind. Was Marcus playing the same game with me that I was unconsciously playing with Kevin? Does he know he’s playing it? I emailed him back saying it was okay and to call me something. I have yet to hear from either one of them. I have become a player in a game I didn’t know the rules to. Like any high action game you play. You want to get out before you get crushed but the adrenaline keeps you in.

-Caleb


Wednesday, March 29, 2006

K.O.

            This last Thursday I met with Cody for our usual coffee shop date at Mudhouse cafe'. The drinks went the same as always. Seated at the number eight table were  I could steal quick glances at the cute blonde waiter and hoping that he would come to our table. When that didn't play out like I had hoped we went on to the mall to find some black square framed glasses. Not wanting to spend close to two- hundred dollars for clear lenses and plastic frames we decided to just walk around.             

             Still in a slump over Jacob. I told Cody it was her duty as my best friend to help me find a boyfriend.  After talking her in to helping me we went to the arcade to goof off. In there we noticed the guy working the tickets. Not to bad of a looker, funny, nice and obviously gay. After fighting with the quarter machine and playing a few games we went in together to cash out our tickets.

             We got to the prize case and struck up a conversation with Mr. Tickets. It seemed like we really hit it off. Joking around about our "man bags"  and guys.  When he stepped away to help a kid I turned to Cody. "Do you think he is gay?" " What do you think he was talking about his "man bag" that's pretty gay."

              With the mall closing I gave him my xanga address and told him goodnight. I was on cloud nine but I forgot to give him my phone number too. Being too nervous to go back and tell him my number I let it go.

             Cody and I went back a couple of days later to see if he was there. He had already left for the day. Down but not out  I talked my friend Kathrine  into taking me to the mall last night to see him. I asked Cody to come alone with so that she and Kathrine could get to know each other. When we got the arcade Kathrine parted off and went looking in another shop.

           We walked up to the counter looking for Mr. Ticket. Once again he wasn't there. I asked the girl working the prize case if he was working. " He left at four. Would you like me tell him hi for you I'm his girlfriend?"   Girlfriend. My stomach knotted up and anger filled my mind. How could this be happening?

            Not being able to take anymore pain the three of us went for Chinese. After finishing out meals Kathrine started playing with her Tarot cards. Noticing what we were doing. Our waitress asked for a reading. We started talking to her and found out that she was from China and came to America by way of a bad arranged marriage.  By what her cards were saying I asked if she could get out of the marriage.  She informed me that she couldn't. It was not of their culture.

              Here was a lady who was sold into a relationship and hoping that threw Tarot cards she could find some resolution for it and I was hoping that threw the cards I could find a relationship. Kathrine and I went on to Barns and Noble for coffee while Cody headed home. Browsing threw some books. I noticed a cute guy  looking at Candice Bushnell's Sex and the City

            Not knowing what came over me I turned to him and said. " That's a really good book." "I know I've read it." he replied. "Have you read any of her other books?"  "One, but I can't remember the name of it."  I smiled and he walked off. Turning to Kathrine I said. " At lest I talked to a guy this time." " Yeah I can't even do that."

            Wanting to find someone herself. She asked me where the Dating for Dummies was at. I took her over to the relationship section. As we rounded the corner there he was again. This time I didn't say anything.  After looking at the book we went and looked around the rest of the store. Looking up from the bargain books I saw him again. This time I wasn't pleased. There he was walking hand in hand out the door with his boyfriend. I turned to Kathrine. " At lest he wasn't with his girlfriend."



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